Why We Don't "Do" Barbies

The Holidays are coming around again and I know my extended family is going to start thinking about gifts for the kids. This has always been a sticky subject for me because let's face it, I want some control over the toys my kids have and by receiving gifts you have to give up that control. Or do you? One friend suggested "pre-screening" gifts by known offenders. Of course this only works if they mail the gift. In the past I've handled the birthday party dilemma by avoiding the gift scene altogether. I've come up with some pretty creative ideas over the years: book exchanges, puzzles exchanges, flat out requesting no gifts and giving the birthday kid the option of picking out something they want at a toys store instead (hint, not a big box store)...Margo picked a stuffed dog one year!) If you Google it there's a whole slew of ideas out there. Including bringing food to collect for a food bank, pet food to collect for an animal shelter, flat out donations to collect for a charity. I love these ideas but they only work for older kids. The concept of collecting for some unknown charity is a little too abstract for younger children- or sensitive children. So you definitely need to know your kid when picking a gift alternative. It does feel a little bossy and ungrateful to me and I worry about offending people. But I want that control because our family has certain values we try to maintain. Less is more is definitely a big one! It's not about getting "stuff" just to get "stuff". Getting gifts is fun! Giving gifts is *usually* fun. But getting 20 gifts is just overwhelming for every one, especially the kid. I've never liked the idea of forcing people to feel obligated to run out and get "something" anything... because they have to have a gift. Nine times out of ten in this situation that gift will probably be going in a bag to go to the thrift store in the near future or it will break and end up in the garbage and then the landfill. Okay maybe not nine out of ten but you get my drift. So that person stressed themselves out and spent money on two seconds of joy. (the opening the present part). To me that's not worth it and there's other ways to create that two seconds of happiness. Or hopefully something a little more fulfilling and durable. So the holidays... I look forward to and dread the Holidays just like most people but probably for different reasons. As a family we actually don't celebrate Christmas. We are not religious. We chose to celebrate the Winter Solstice instead. And no, that doesn't make us Pagens or Devil worshippers. We chose the Winter Solstice simply because it is the shortest day of the year and most winter holidays are all about the lack of light and the returning of the light. Here's a good link if you liked more info. There's also books written about the subject. So lack of light, celebrating the light returning and spending time with family and being grateful for a warm house to live in during the dark, cold months. These are the aspects that we chose to emphasize. Of course as with all things parenting this has been a work in process. Not only do we wish to de-emphasize the entire gift thing. Which by the way is another reason we don't "do" cable television with young kids in the house. The toy advertising this time of year is obscene and if you don't know it doesn't exist you can't lust for it... right? So that really does solve a ton. In general our children are not begging for ginormous lists of stuff. But back to the title of this and the values around the types of toys. So yes in a perfect world all of my children's toys would be open-ended, high quality and hand crafted by local artisans. But obviously I had to relax about that. However there are certain things I can't relax about and yes sweet, loveable, nostalgia inducing Barbie is one of them. Why do I have it in for Barbie you ask? Well first of all let's start with Barbie's body and no I'm not even talking about the distortion of the body proportions. I'm just talking about a developed adult body that you're giving a child to play with. To me this hardly seems appropriate. Not to mention that Barbie's body is sexualized and deformed! So no, just no. If you give my child a Barbie I will be sending it back. If you give my child any toy that *I feel* sexualizes childhood I will be sending it back. And you may not agree with this at all or you may agree with me about Barbie and not another decision. But as a parent and one of the heads of this particular family I reserve the right to make these decisions for my children and our family. Barbie is my line in the sand. Cheap garbage that will break in a week. I won't be thrilled but I'll deal. Annoyingly noisey one hit wonder toys.... I will be annoyed but I'll let the kids play with them until they don't any more (which is usually a day) and then I'll quietly stick it in a box and send it on it's way to the thrift store. But Barbie, sorry, my kids have been warned. You have been warned. No to Barbie, no to sexualizing childhood in any way shape or form. Just no. These are our family's values. Please respect them. And Happy Holidays!!!!! My hope is that this time of a year can be a magical time for every one old and young and that it's what YOU want it to be. If that means a giant gift fest with a hundred presents under the tree, then that is my wish for your family. If it means celebrating your particular religious beliefs than that is my wish for your family. May you find balance in these Winter Holidays and truly enjoy them. Peace and Love, The Sprenke/Bradberrys