Brain, Child article

First off, I want to say that one of the reasons I love reading Brain, Child is the simple fact that I don't agree with everything. Which is kind of the point of the magazine. I enjoy reading Mothering because I generally do agree with everything. I guess it depends on what kind of mood I'm in.

The latest issue has me doing sort of stopping every once in awhile and rethinking what I read last night. The essay is called, "Somewhere Near the Bottom". It's about a woman and her partner, husband- who decide they want to have three kids. She gets pregnant and is not excited about it, decides she's going to abort this pregnancy. Her husband supports her, although he wants the baby. She her self says she does want to have another baby and in fact goes on to eventually have a third child.

So, a little weird. She does agonize the decision, goes back and forth until the beginning on the second trimester but ultimately does abort the pregnancy. Maybe this essay is hitting me so hard because I'm pregnant with my third and next week I'll be starting my second trimester? I must say that I've thought that if I were to miscarriage, that would be it, I'd be all done. Wouldn't try to get pregnant again, would close up shop.
So, I've questioned the decision to have a third child but not this particular pregnancy.

I still don't quite get her reasons, that's one thing about the essay that has me particularly confused. I think it's that she just doesn't feel good about the pregnancy, doesn't feel excited or attached? Although she obviously has some emotions about it because she leaves the facility moments before the abortion is suppose to happen in tears more than once. And she does want a third child! Maybe the real reason, that she didn't really get into in the article is that her kids were just too close together. That I could identify with. With even a 2 1/2 year spread between them I still felt a lot of guilt about usurping Solomon. Perhaps she wasn't expecting to get pregnant so quickly and wasn't prepared to have a third child just yet.

Any way, I don't agree with her decision. I think they should have been trying not to get pregnant until they were good and ready to have a third. So it was irresponsible and a lame reason for an abortion. Which in her defense she pretty much says it was a lame reason, "Somewhere Near the Bottom". And it's awfully ballsy of her to put it out there. I don't think I would have admitted it to any one except my doctor and husband.