We recently were literally snowed in here for a few days. It started out with a storm warning, which meant school started two hours late and let out to hours early on the Tuesday back from the MLK Monday off. Jon talked about maybe taking Solly skiing, which the thought of made Margo cry. She was looking FORWARD to a snow day off from school with her big brother. The next day brought a huge load of snow, glorious snow! We played around in the yard and I strapped the pulk up to myself and dragged both Solly and Margo around the neighborhood. The next day brought freezing rain and an ice-storm for areas surrounding Seattle. Seattle was just mostly windy and cold and snowy. So we stayed inside for the entire day. The next day brought SLUSH, serious slush as things warmed up. I had to drag the kids out of the house kicking and screaming because I wanted to get out. Then we had the weekend, which we mostly spent inside just hanging out.
Well, I started to think about how we had all this time together and how I really didn't DO much with the kids. Really. I didn't pull out the craft projects, or the board games, or even resort to t.v. very much... because they were playing together! I actually feel guilty, like I should have spent more time with them. I had this great opportunity to do all kinds of cool and creative things with them.... but they were playing with each other and they weren't interested in playing with me!
I posted this link on my FB page a few days ago. My standard advice to people with one child who aren't sure if they want two is: do it! It's easier, really, it is! Not just because they play together but because you're a professional mom now and you can relax and enjoy. Maybe some first time moms are better at it than I was but it was a HUGE life transition for me. I was 32 when my first was born. I had been on my own since I was 18, working, and mostly only taking care of myself. Jumping on the 24 baby-roller coaster was a little overwhelming. Add suddenly not working and becoming a "stay at home mom" after recently becoming a "wife". Well... it was a rocky first year. Honestly I'm a little surprised we had two... and then three. But I'm oh so glad we did!
I guess I shouldn't feel guilty about not spending more time with my kids while we were snowed in and be thankful that they are developing these wonderful sibling relationships that have nothing to do with my husband and me. Solly and Margo are good friends. They enjoy their time together. Both Solly and Margo are good big siblings to Mira and they work hard at making space for a two year old in their games. We are working on the times when they need a break from playing with a two year old (believe me I know it's not easy) but mostly they handle it pretty well. I'm also really impressed with how well they all are able to take a break from each other when they need it. I would find them both at times quietly in their separate rooms reading.
I recently went back and looked at the post I wrote about my run in with Postpartum Anxiety and Depression. I remember feeling like having three with just too much. Like I had ruined this good thing I had going. I knew at the time it was just the anxiety talking but the thoughts still overwhelmed me. I looked forward to the day when I could look back at the terrible time as a distant memory and completely enjoy our three kids and the fact that they not only have us but they will have each other for the rest of their lives. Today is that day.
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