Heading to France

In a little less than a month Jon and I will be flying the family over to France for a one month vacation.
Not being a huge fan of the typical tourist traps, I decided to do some research and find us some "friends" to visit! Or more importantly, friends for the kids to visit and play with.
Now most people we run into look at us like we're nutso for taking our 2 1/2 and 5 year old with us to Europe. One friend even asked if it was safe. A co-worker of Jon's said something to the effect of, "what's the point, they won't remember it any way!". Following that logic, you might as well keep them locked up in a cage until they can remember something...
I know my kids will remember this experience when they are older. They won't remember the things we think they might. They'll probably forget the Eiffel tower and remember a kid they meet at a playground. They might forget the entire trip but remember how much they liked crepes. Who knows, but I do know that they will remember the feeling of the time we spend together. They'll remember the sense of adventure of living in another country for a month. And I'm hoping they'll pick up a little French!
Back to the friends though- After asking around if any one knew any one in France and getting no where fast I started coming up with some other ideas. One day after getting an email from a Le Leche League leader this thought came into my head, "they don't call it Le Leche League International for nothing!". I went to work, found an email for an English speaking LLL group in Paris, sent out some emails and waited. It worked, I received some lovely emails back and got invited to join a yahoo group about living as an attachment parent in France. Well I don't actually live in France but they were open minded! A couple months later they asked me to be one of the moderators for the group.
Listening to these woman and their struggle to raise their children by following their hearts and their instincts has been very insightful. I realized for all the struggles I felt dealing with my family and friends while raising my children in our culture is nothing compared their struggles. For one thing I have a very supportive partner. Several of these woman had children with someone who doesn't share their views, who strongly does not share their views of parenting. As a Social Worker you think, well they should have talked about this before they had a baby, right? Did you know what kind of parent you wanted to be before you had a baby? I had a loose idea but I didn't even know that there was such a thing as an "attachment parent". I had no idea some people left their babies to cry alone in cribs in some attempt to train them to sleep better (or to sleep more like an adult sleeps). I didn't know these things until my son was born. When he was born I realized I didn't want to be away from him. I couldn't imagine anything worse in the world than to have to drop him off at a daycare and walk away for 8 hours! It tore my soul. The first time I was away from him when he was a newborn, I thought it would be good for me to run to the store by myself while he slept. I had pumped and my husband had a bottle just in case. But I didn't feel free or happy to be walking around the store with out him. I just felt weird. I had carried him inside me for 9 months, he was a part of me and to be away from him then I literally felt like I was walking around with a big hole through my middle. I had to fight the urge to stop people and tell them I just had a baby, if I look strange right now it's because I just had a baby, only he's not with me, I left him home napping with his father....
I think that was the moment I realized I would be a different kind of parent.
Then I started running into the "baby trainers". Oh you have a new baby... is he a "good" sleeper? Let me tell you what to do...
At first I was aghast, I couldn't believe people honestly would do this to a little baby. I had taken child development classes, the experts agreed that you always respond to a baby's cries. It helps them develop their sense of self, their place in the world and to feel secure. I even dug out an old text book and looked it up, yep, there it is, just as I had remembered it. No where did it say that it was a good idea to lay your baby down in a crib and walk away while they screamed.
I have since mellowed and I have friends who gave it a try and their children don't seem scarred for life. Would I do it, no! But I try not to judge others. We are all just doing our best after all. Every one loves their children just as passionately as I love mine.
Speaking of which, need to stop this flow of thought and help my little loves get ready for the day!